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By Tim Dawes...
By Tim Dawes

To Holda.Frontpage@communications

From Fiona.Molestopper@Policy

Copy Chalky.Fingers@Education

Subject Bogcaster 'Sudso Washes Brighter' Academy

I attach a copy of the draft inspector's first report into our flagship breakaway education establishment. As you will see it's dire. Hurrah! Obviously, we don't want to be seen to undermine an important government initiative. Well, not too obviously, anyway. So start the press release with 'very disappointed to learn . . . continue to offer support' etc. Please note: the grant we have been getting for our own schools has declined by 0.34%; satisfaction with the education service, as measured by own impartial survey, proves 98% of parents think our teachers are real sweeties; the academy report includes: 'teaching approach is inept and ineffective' (p5) 'most leavers are pig ignorant' (p 54) etc etc.

To Fiona.Molestopper@policy

From Holda.Frontpage@communications

Might be a good idea to embargo press release until after the inspector's report on Bogcaster Community is published. The head and most of the governors have already agreed to resign and Chalky has had me running around to find parents to put their names to supportive letters we have drafted for the local press. Also, you have remembered that Sir Ron Forit, chairman of Sudso and the academy governors, is also chief benefactor of the First Church of the Grindletonians whose pastor is the husband of our majority group leader? BTW, I see there is a new policy job going at the county.

To Holda.Frontpage@communications

From Fiona.Molestopper@policy

On reflection, it might just be more appropriate, given the sensitivity, if I brief the press off the record on this one.

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