A new policy means staff under the influence of alcohol will be sent home.
The new disciplinary code means drinkers may be asked to seek medical help.
The policy covers all the council's 600 employees, but not elected members.
The drinks ban was first mooted by member John Hiley, whose initial suggestion that it should include councillors was rejected because they thought it suggested they turned up to meetings drunk.
The list of tell-tale symptoms includes abusive and irritable behaviour, paranoia, unpredictable reaction to criticism, poor judgment, missed deadlines, unreliability and accidents, lateness, and 'going missing' at lunchtime.
Mr Sharp said: 'We have come to the conclusion that it could only mean everyone here is permanently drunk.'